jimsar
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Press release picked up from CalBearInsider Forum:
Date: Thursday, July 17, 2008, 10:22 PM
Recent gasoline prices and other issues are proof of the existence of a new
chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron,
25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes, slowing down or actually stopping, every action with
which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to anytime from days to years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of two-six years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Date: Thursday, July 17, 2008, 10:22 PM
Recent gasoline prices and other issues are proof of the existence of a new
chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element
yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron,
25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected,
because it impedes, slowing down or actually stopping, every action with
which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to anytime from days to years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of two-six years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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